@TheTimmyToes: stadium announcer: "STADIUM!"
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@mjkspeaks: [argument w/girlfriend] HER: you know what your problem is? ME: no, *grabs pen and begins taking notes* but i'm about to find out
@MikeCanRant: Dont trust any kids asking for bread this Halloween. Theyre more than likely just ducks dressed up as kids. I wont fall for that again.
@pbear79: If you have a gluten allergy I feel bad for you son. I got 99 pizzas and you can't eat one.