@lindseyallen: Stand way over there and let me tell you a funny fairytale. Once upon a time I ate all of your Halloween candy this morning.
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@Nocturnesthesia: Neighbor may have just called the cops after hearing me yell at the cat for stealing my cheese bread
@LuvPug: I could probably survive about a week in the wilderness eating only the food I spill on my shirt any given day.
@SpencerLenox: A mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else I sleep with!