@wesleybordelon: Standing in the boys clothes section at Kohls waiting for my wife. I just realized I look creepy. Better move to the little girls section.
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@SharkJelly: [At Adele Concert] Adele: Hello from the other siiiiiide Me (shouting): Tell us your surname
@hazelmotes1: Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?
@KeetPotato: [24hr news channel] news just in.. *director repeats himself into headset* news justin *justin just sits there* READ THE NEWS JUSTIN