@DontTouchMyWine: Standing in the liquor store, trying to decide if tonight's dose of self-loathing and regret should have a screw-top or a cork.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@eyeswidebutt: [dinner table] gfs dad: so what do you do for a living me: human trafficking *he chokes* gf: he's a crossing guard dad
@Tmoney68: Don't tell me I don't know the difference between right & wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
@Only_Fast_Eddie: People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room. It's called arson and those people are called witnesses.