@AndyAsAdjective: *stands in front yard, hands on hips, giving each autumn leaf that falls on my lawn a stern, disapproving look*
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@pdxjohnny99: This tweet has been brought to you by... ...Stay Free Maxi-pads... ...When your uterine lining looks like the elevator from The Shining.
@scrirc: All the single ladies (All the single ladies) All the single ladies (All the single ladies) Have cats.
@AlyssaDiSalle: Do something nice for your ex today, take them out. One bullet should do the trick.
@sfreeze6: Seize the day. Repossess the evening. Impound last week. Forcibly confiscate the entire month of September.