@JasonLastname: *stands next to ATM and cheers every time someone wins money*
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@Queen_Sassy_AF: *first date* Him: Favorite animal? Her: Panaver Him: Huh? Her: A cross between a panda and beaver because I am lazy but love wood.
@huntigula: why pay kristen stewart millions of dollars when a cardboard cutout of kristen stewart will give the exact same performance for free
@SarahR_82: I tailgated a cop who pulled out of the doughnut shop so he'd know what it feels like when he follows me from the bars.
@AGreaterMonster: Someone stole my car from the Target parking lot, but fortunately they returned it at 11:00 pm when it was the only car left in the lot.