@Davesub10S: Star Wars 7 is when they all realize that they are just Andy's toys.
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@BlindChow: COP: do you know why I pulled you over? ME: *furiously trying to swallow a mouthful of mattress tag stickers* no
@SassyPantssss: I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding.
@msdanifernandez: I can't. I'm busy tonight. I have to do laundry and block everyone who takes their engagement photos in a barn.
@Clare_innit: It's fun to smudge your lipstick and ruffle your hair before you come out of your bosses office, then give your work colleagues a wink.