@Christi_Q: Star Wars has given me unrealistic expectations of who my father is.
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@C00LpenNAME: They say your home is your castle. But the second you build a dungeon in the basement someone inevitably calls the cops
@Smartticisms: Apparently champagne is the easiest alcohol to digest, so I'm going to consume several bottles to wash down my salad.
@BoogTweets: Me: *Posing nude for the first time* Photographer: Absolutely stunning, but inappropriate for your drivers license tbh
@philmann: PILOT: if you look out the window you'll see we're cruising at 35,000 feet [i look out the window] [THE SKY IS FULL OF FEET JESUS CHRIST]