@iLikeCatShirts: Star Wars is just like regular wars except you fall in love with your sister and your dad chops your arm off.
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@chuuew: As the zombies swarm, I ask for one last selfie. By the time they realise their dead flesh won't activate the touch screen, I'm long gone.
@ericsshadow: "GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE" KID: *goes kicking and screaming* TEEN: You can't do this, I have plans tonight ADULT: Thank you so much
@myles_morrison: If anyone tried to steal my identity I would just think "now it's their problem."
@Nikkeya08: Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger YI: Me:*chewing I'm a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite