@KenJennings: STAR WARS SPOILERS Admiral Ackbar has gained quite a bit of weight and everyone calls him "Admiral Snackbar"
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@joeldanger: Sending an insult with a typo is like laughing at someone for tripping and falling and then tripping and falling right front of them.
@Nikkeya08: I hate when I'm pooping alone in the house and I hear a noise.. please don't kill me while i'm pooping..
@DelanieFischer: Being an adult means assuming someone's dead every time your parents call you at work.
@WilliamAder: Told my wife that Hooters is an owl rescue sanctuary where I'm doing important volunteer work.