@BillMc7: Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn't think of this.
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@_Tempo11: Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I'm a big perv.
@rockymomax: DR: call me with any questions [phone rings 20 min later] DR: hello...? ME: you like dogs?
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed. Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter.