@BillMc7: Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn't think of this.
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@CourtneyBale: [making a friend at work] Brain: Make it weird Me: *thinking* No stop it Brain: Say something weird Me: Get out of here, you Coworker: What?
@squirrel74wkgn: If my wife comes to bed nude it's ON, but when it's me at the end of the bed naked she's all "what are you doin, we're at Mattress City."
@jtswhipped: Just watched Inception,Donnie Darko,Memento and The Matrix and now I don't think I am real anymore.