@meganamram: Starbucks coffee is disgusting. First of all it tastes like soap, second of all u have to get it from dispensers in the BATHROOM????
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@skinnyfrittata: A kid asked me how babies are made so I panicked and said “3D printers” because no one has ever explained it to me either
@Kirangandhi: Was feeling particularly adventorous today.so decided to jump off a moving train.now hav to buy my nephew a new train set
@BoogTweets: Me: The wedding cake is a stack of 50 pancakes I have frosted. Each layer represents people you slept with prior to meeti-*mic gets cut off*