@JT_IV_: Starbucks puts the fee in coffee
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@JJSummertime: If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter. Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll.
@OtherDanOBrien: [God creating me] And then we sprinkle in just a touch of anxiety [the lid pops off and the whole jar spills in] [God shrugs] He'll be fine
@TravLeBlanc: One time a friend said that he "ain't never had no nothing". It remains the only time where I have heard someone use a quadruple negative.