@lovemydogduck: Starbucks really isn't that expensive when compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup
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@aka_fatman: President, first day on the job: *pushing a button* Janet can you- [two nuclear missiles launch towards Moscow] That wasn't the intercom.
@JayCee302: The asian girl I'm playing chess against is really hot, you might say she's worth a... *puts on sunglasses* "Second rook"
@RonAnthonyQuinn: If I ever win the lottery & someone asks me for money I'm going to give them a dollar & say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That's what I did."