@steveolivas: Starbucks this morning looks like a scene from "The Walking Dead."
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@murrman5: [to snake at news station] you can't do weather anymore "ssswhy not?" are we getting rain tomorrow? "sssno" do you see how that's confusing?
@kelownagoose: If you have your underwear on over top of your pants, I'll let you in line in front of me at the pharmacy.
@browneyegirl9: My boyfriend asked for a dirty pic last night, I was able to get my whole kitchen in the shot. That should last him a while! He's so weird.
@pjux: "How do you speak such good English?" "I dunno 200 years of colonialism and eurocentric education, how do you know so little history?"