@KingsnorthAP: Starbucks, where 11 members of staff frantically do things behind the counter, yet not one of these things appears to resemble a hot drink
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@ewfeez: Hacked again! Sometimes I wish I never grew up on 12,345,678th Street with a dog named Password.
@thenatewolf: Detective: someone's been stealing boats, can we look in your basement? Me: I don't have a basement *sound of foghorn from basement*
@briancthayer: [food naming committee] ... Ok. Cow? - Beef Ground up? - Burger Great. Pig? - Pork Baked & sliced? - Ham Super! Deer? - Venison Fish? - Fish
@TheToddWilliams: [creation] GOD: Alright guys, please read the sex manuals I've provided RABBIT: Oh hell yeah STUD HORSE: Ah nice PRAYING MANTIS: What the f–