@thatdutchperson: [Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom]
"I've counted these fries."
![[Stares deeply into date’s eyes before going to the bathroom]
“I’ve counted these fries.”](/cache/102007.jpg)
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@RandiLawson: Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You're annoying enough as it is
@InternetHippo: Internships are useful for a résumé. When you apply for a real job, they'll be like, "I see you worked for free a lot, are you an idiot?"
@dorsalstream: Before posting each tweet, I ask myself: Does it bring me joy? Will it bring joy to others? I never wait for the answer.
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