@Lisabug74: Started my new healthy diet today. Breakfast is 2 almonds, I lick an apple for lunch, and dinner is yelling at a picture of myself naked.
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@aveuaskew: "You always overreact and make things dramatic. It's really annoying." *raises megaphone to lips* How so?
@whatkylasaid: We only cook with fresh, local ingredients so tonight we're grilling our neighbor's cat.
@matt___nelson: I feel bad for all these athletes training for the Olympics in 2016 since we're all gonna die in 2012