@Lisabug74: Started my new healthy diet today. Breakfast is 2 almonds, I lick an apple for lunch, and dinner is yelling at a picture of myself naked.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NolaChef504: If a drunk falls in the woods and no one is there to hear him, why did I go camping?
@Glitta_J: If im walking around with my arms crossed, there's a 90% chance im not mad...Im just probably not wearing a bra
@huntigula: her: the manager of the McDonalds down the street called today... him: [sitting on couch next to Ronald McDonald statue] Did he sound mad?
@mayamanion: Who needs whips and chains? Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.