@Lisabug74: Started my new healthy diet today. Breakfast is 2 almonds, I lick an apple for lunch, and dinner is yelling at a picture of myself naked.
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@AdamOfEarth: Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101. Today's class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you're here now, you failed.
@drunkNnaughty: I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
@Reverend_Scott: FITBIT: You've done 11k steps today. ME: Ok, I'll rest some. FITBIT: stop now and I'll murder you ME: What? FITBIT: I SAID GOOD FOR YOU!