@BuckyIsotope: Started to travel back in time to kill Hitler, but then I decided to be more efficient and went back and shot Adam and Eve instead.
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@AristotlesNZ: FB friend's boy in a baseball uniform pic: "Our little pitcher" Me: "He looks more like a catcher" Nobody got it. So I'm back here..
@ems: I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn't even eat them.
@MandaPie1981: Is that a burrito in your pocket or are you happy to see me? I'm cool if it's a burrito.
@simoncholland: And like the migratory pattern of the white-crowned sparrow, the last roll of toilet paper makes its journey from bathroom to bathroom.