@Underchilde: Starting a blog that’s just reviews of the food I steal out of the fridge at work.
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@MomOnFire: When a guy jokes about pms, you need to laugh along to show you're a cool chick, but hold the laugh too long- so he gets scared.
@NikkiGlaser: I held a baby today. I was scared it would make me want a baby, but it just made me want to be a baby.
@cynicanoldicus: The ex wife once told me her greatest fantasy was kneeling in front of me while I spurted all over her. She never mentioned it was my blood.
@UrbanDouchebag: I wonder if flies ever think, "I bet I could get this guy to slap himself in the face." Because they'd be right.