@Underchilde: Starting a blog that’s just reviews of the food I steal out of the fridge at work.
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@TheCatWhisprer: If you cut me off in traffic you better be ready to look in your rearview mirror and see me yelling something you can't hear.
@hurlarious: I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous
@Underchilde: Hey, remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? Good times!
@LeviKabwato: Nephew drops my iPad, doesn't say sorry but proceeds to offer me a biscuit. His future in Politics is secure.