@Underchilde: Starting a blog that’s just reviews of the food I steal out of the fridge at work.
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@daemonic3: [spelling bee] Your word is 'embarrassing' "Oh I don't mind, you can say it" No, it's really 'embarrassing' "Ok, I promise not to laugh"
@FuckabillyRex: Someone just knocked on the door of my apartment and I yelled, "There's no one here," so I think I handled that very well.
@HomeProbably: The last time I was this drunk and covered in glitter, it had nothing to do with Christmas.
@scant_alpaca: [answering my shoe like a phone] hold on i can’t hear you let me put you on sneaker