@man_spach: Starting to fear that all the urgent work emails I LOL'd at and deleted earlier were not actually April Fools' jokes.
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@EvilSchwartzie: In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY. My best time so far is 7 min.
@LoveNLunchmeat: [reading online survey] Are you ready to double your satisfaction? My god this sounds wildly inappropriate. *clicks yes*
@Ristolable: Every time you get a haircut, you're essentially returning your last haircut and exchanging it for the exact same thing