@copymama: Starting to miss the kids after 5 days at grandma’s, so I wistfully dumped a bin of toys on the floor and sprinkled crumbs on the couch.
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@flashember: *plane crashes in ocean* *washes ashore island* *imprisoned by crabs* *rises to become Crab Emperor* *assassinated by most trustworthy crab*
@sarcasm_inc: I would dress like Batman more often, but I cant run the risk of giant aliens invading and mistaking me for a large Pez dispenser.
@CrashTestDrummy: A Jehovah's Witness followed me. I think I'll send him a lot of unsolicited DMs with knock-knock jokes...
@Calliejacobson: So apparently in a job interview, if the interviewer asks you to choose one word that describes you, the correct answer is not fergalicious.