@jonnysun: starting to realize that maybe the only reason i go to see movies in theaters is so i dont hav to face my reflection during dimly lit scenes
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@funnybeachgirl: With the holidays upon us, please dont forget what they stand for. Family, friends & punching strangers at the mall because they cut in line
@DomesticGoddss: Me: What's the suite number on that address? 8: It just says "Hashtag 301." Me: Before hashtags were born, those were called number signs.
@garrettbarry70: Accidentally changed neighbor to neighbour and now I'm saying stuff like "bloody hell" and "brilliant"
@GuyThe_Guy: Tonight we're gonna party like its 1999. No seriously, Greg's been in a coma for 14 years. We'll tell him that shit tomorrow night though.