@jonnysun: starting to realize that maybe the only reason i go to see movies in theaters is so i dont hav to face my reflection during dimly lit scenes
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@yayraptor: ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking please keep your seatbelt on as we--OH MY GOD [plane flies into a giant baby mouth]
@causticbob: It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it.
@skullmandible: ENGLAND: people are CROSSING OUR BORDERS for ECONOMIC ADVANCEMENT!!! THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED WORLD FROM LIKE 1583 to 1997: u don't say