@WilliamAder: Starting to think the frog dissection skills I learned in high school are never going to pay off.
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@david8hughes: [overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that
@ibid78: Your first mistake was wearing heels in this dodgeball tournament, Jason. The second was thinking that they went with that dress.
@jwoodham: Tell the Starbucks barista that your name is Voldemort. Watch for those who don't flinch when the name is called. They will be your allies.