@WilliamAder: Starting to think the frog dissection skills I learned in high school are never going to pay off.
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@ChipKellysBalls: Find a penny Pick it up & all the day You'll have significantly raised chances of contracting a bacterial infection ...
@farleftcoast: Text from husband: Where are you at? Me: Before I tell you let's talk about ending sentences with prepositions.
@MarlonBrandNO: [First Date] "Okay don't let her know you're a tool shed" Waiter: Anything to drink? Date: a screwdriver please *My head slowly opens*
@sarahyehia82: Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.