@Cheeseboy22: Startle and amuse your cat by replacing its kitty litter with Poprocks. (Ladies: feel free to share this idea on your pinny website thing.)
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@Mr_Kapowski: If you encounter another Dad in the wild wearing a #1 Dad shirt, you must fight to the death. Disneyland has never been so fun
@thejessbess: Probably the most valuable life lesson I've learned from a movie is to not steal black girls' cheer routines.
@CulturedRuffian: Mom: You can't have cookies for breakfast! Me: Why? Mom: Have something healthy-here, eat these chocolate chip pancakes with syrup instead