@jazmasta: *starts petting a random dog in the park when I see my ex dog walking past*
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@michaelianblack: If countries don't want revolutions, they should stop putting large public squares in the middle of their cities. So stupid!
@NicestHippo: [meeting a couple at dog park] "BARK BARK!" GF: He's usually not like this [pulls me aside] GF: Stop yelling bark bark at those nice people
@mablazarus: Someday you'll wake up with Mark Zuckerberg in your bed because you neglected to uncheck a box.
@TheTalkingPipe: Make a friend today. Give a complete stranger a big, long hug. If they happen to get mad, tell the police a guy on twitter said you could.