@jazmasta: *starts petting a random dog in the park when I see my ex dog walking past*
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@CheryeDavis: When I was a kid I liked my Jack in the Box...But now I prefer my Jack in the Bottle.
@HatfieldAnne: Googles “what happens if you accidentally eat raw cookie dough” [5 minutes later] “twice”
@_Aynne_: My favorite thing to say when a man offers me a drink is, "Of course I'll have another...I AM drinking for two, after all!"