@shariv67: Starve a cold. Feed a fever. Humiliate a rash. Flatter a migraine. Friendzone diarrhea. Date cramps. Bring anxiety home to meet the family.
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@TheHyyyype: [first day in gang] LEADER: ya gotta be street-smart ME: oh i am LEADER: prove it ME: *names every street in city* LEADER: holy shit
@pixelatedboat: For you sir I would recommend one of our deluxe funeral plans where I won't dig you up and slap you around when I'm feeling mad at skeletons
@dshack8: Parents w/ 1st kid: *Peels grape & slices it into 84 tiny pieces. Parents w/ 4th kid: *Gives kid knife & fork to cut their own steak.