@KatieBurnett: Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy
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@LostFelicia: I have a habit of 5 starring bad movies on amazon because if I wasted 90+ minutes on that crap, I want you to suffer too.
@bobvulfov: NICK CANNON: hello and welcome to america's got talent HAWK: [hiding his talons behind his back] i misunderstood the title of this show
@senderblock23: No, I said I wanted to BING you on my kitchen counter. You know, the popular search engine?
@see_more13: At the store & asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around & looked them in the eyes and said, "Make it 52"