@KatieBurnett: Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: *quietly tries to open a bag of chips while son walks around looking for his bag of chips*
@DrawingShadows: Going to a bar within walking distance of my house reduces the likelihood that I will wake up partially clothed behind a dumpster tomorrow.
@envydatropic: When my friends come over they know to ask "may I sit here" and then we look at my dog to see if it's OK
@SteveSuckington: [2nd time at girls house] "where's your dog?" Oh he isn't mine. I was dog sitting [makes text alert sound w mouth] "Its work. I gotta go"