@daplusk: Statistically if driving a stake through the heart kills vampires, we're all vampires.
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@sickipediabot: Apparently the meteor passed within 17,000 miles of the planet last night. Nearly as far away as my wife parks from the kerb.
@lindseyallen: Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing.
@mollzbenn: I made a grocery list last night when I was drunk and it just says "healthy stuff," "looob," and "you don't own me."