@TuffyNyC: "Statistics show that most shark attacks happen in shallow water." Really? Maybe cus that's where the ppl are u idiots.
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@daplusk: [date] Me: Have you ever had it so deep your toes curl? Her: No, I'd love that Me: [pulls out 15th century poetry book] get ready Her: um
@BlairLoudly: I've easily spent 12% of my life chuckling at my own jokes and being grossed out by my own body. Also, I like random percentages.