@WoodyLuvsCoffee: STATUS: Using the flashlight on my phone to look for the keys that are in my hand so I can open my car cuz I think I left my phone in there.
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@SuicideBooth1: Unicorn: Come on man, do it just one more time. Dragon: This is the last time. Unicorn: Hell yeah! Dragon: [toasts unicorns marshmallow]
@supertweetjen: The guy two cubes down wears vests, curls his mustache, and never says a word. I always smile politely because maybe he'll spare my life.
@PaperWash: What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone's life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?