@KenJennings: Steal your neighbors' garden gnome. Send them a series of photos of the gnome lurking near various truck stop men's rooms.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Ristolable: Seize the day. Attack the week. Murder the month. Approach your life in a generally violent way.
@KellyMeldrum: I'm not usually vengeful, but when I am it's because someone gave my kid a whistle.
@Barknado69: Amoeba: dad, how was I made? Amoeba Dad: well son, when a man loves himself very much
@Sickayduh: "Well, congrats. You're a homeowner now. Any questions?" "Yeah. Sam put those glasses on eBay, why didn't the Decepticons just bid on em?"