@KenJennings: Steal your neighbors' garden gnome. Send them a series of photos of the gnome lurking near various truck stop men's rooms.
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@Jeff_G_Nixon: "Ha-ha who me? Oh, I put ketchup on everything!" CAR SALESMAN: please stop putting ketchup on these Buicks.
@RuinMyWeek: I photoshopped myself into a photo booth strip a coworker had on her desk and replaced it. And now we wait...
@david8hughes: "Was he better than me?" "Joe, don't." "I have a right to know!" "No, he wasn't better than you." [god appears] "Mary, what the hell?"