@icecube: Stealing endorsements is not how you become the president of the United States, homie. Leave my name out ya mouth...
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@DaddyJew: My kid can build an entire city with a stick & a bale of hay in Minecraft but you ask him to load the dishwasher & suddenly he's brain dead
@birbigs: Instead of presents, give your kids "presence." Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever.
@bornmiserable: "Where do escalators come from?" "Well, when an Escalade and an alligator love each other very much..."