@ObscureGent: Stealing the candy is not the issue here. The real issue is why are you feeding your baby candy.
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@TragicAllyHere: If someone asks if you've been crying just say, "why... do you want to watch?" and it will weird them out enough to leave you alone
@flashember: YOGI: Close your eyes and breathe. ME: [angrily rolling up my mat] I was under the impression this was a picnic and you were a talking bear
@ArfMeasures: "I've invented the toaster" SADISTIC CEO: What number toasts it perfectly? "2" SC: ok make it *cries with laughter* make it go up to 8