@ObscureGent: Stealing the candy is not the issue here. The real issue is why are you feeding your baby candy.
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@rockymomax: [dinner] DAD: let's roast this bird ME: (to bird) the only time you ever got laid was the day you were born DAD: haha nice
@mydmac: (At the dentist) 'Your grinding isn't good.' Excuse me! I've never had a man complain before.
@BlindChow: "You're attachment is too large," my computer tells me. I blush. "My eyes are up here," I respond coyly.