@WhatevaConc: Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown.
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@VaguelyFunnyDan: Ate shrooms & I feel nothing. Just an awful taste in my mouth. Also the dealer overcharged me. Also he's a centaur with spiders for lips
@RandomlyMJ: Judging from the sounds in my trunk this guy would have had an excellent career as a drummer.
@VerifiedDrunk: Jill on Facebook is trying to find a way to get cat diarrhea out of suede boots and I don't think I'm hungry for lunch anymore. .