@WhatevaConc: Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown.
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@Demented_Jokes: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me.
@TankCesar: My doctor tells me I'm healthy enough for sexual activity...I'm just not attractive enough.
@runolgarun: saw someone spill their high end juice cleanse all over the sidewalk and now I know god is on my side
@CompChristopher: If there is a zombie apocalypse I hope that they are thriller zombies because they're fabulous dancers