@CarpentersCrack: Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol.
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@jackiembouvier: [Brings pot brownies to the PTA meeting] - New playground approved - All classes now held outside
@shutupmikeginn: Sun Tzu's The Art of War is very applicable in the business world. Just today I made my boss sit facing the window so he had sun in his eyes
@timdonakowski: I like to mute CNN and imagine they're arguing about what appetizer, or appetizers, to order at TGIFridays.
@lwhit_the_boss: A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face.