@Tmoney68: Stephen Hawking says artificial intelligence could destroy the human race. Sorry Stephen, but my money's on LACK of intelligence.
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@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box
@U_Want_Shum_M8: One time I bought these shoes from a drug dealer, and I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day
@garrydavenport: *weigh myself* Hmmmm... *weigh myself on different scales and am two pounds lighter* Ah these are more accurate...
@wickedsuga: I need your parent's phone number so I can call you & hang up when they answer. Cause if I'm gonna crush on you, I'm doing it old school.