@Zwolf666: Stephen Hawking's worn out two pair of shoes since the last time my co-worker said something intelligent.
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@Sassafrantz: Friday always feels like Wile E. Coyote running off the cliff and Monday is when he looks down.
@osoplain: I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
@Brampersandon_: FLIGHT ATTENDANT: sir calm down ME (having panic attack): sorry I've never flown before PILOT (over intercom): dont worry neither have I lol