@Zwolf666: Stephen Hawking's worn out two pair of shoes since the last time my co-worker said something intelligent.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@misfarber: Poor helium. I like to imagine there's a shelium out there somewhere, waiting gaseously
@stevedildarian: CNN is confirming that the only news in the world today is the blizzard. everything else is under control.
@UnFitz: Tip: "At the same time" has more characters than "simultaneously." The point is, having a vocabulary helps you tweet gooder.