@ElleOhHell: Stephen is a much nicer name than "hen from a previous marriage."
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@_4kidscrazy: Me: Did you have a shirt on when you said it? Wife: I was naked, just out of the shower. Me: And you expected me to remember what you said?
@AlexRogaski: *Runs across campus to get to class on time* Whew! I made it! *Sits in the back and browses Twitter for an hour and a half*