@SaraMansford: Steven King, Dean Koontz and Anne Rice have all announced their retirement stating: Nothing we write will ever be scarier than this election
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@HysteriaBarbie: Me: Shot through the heart 911: What is your location? Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon? Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up
@Probgoblin: Be the reason they have to add a section about roller skates to the employee handbook.
@djdarrellripley: Going to church doesn't necessarily make you a nice person... It does, however, make you sleepy.