@AngelaEhh: Still disappointed that the only hard thing in my bed lately has been my mattress.
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@Chumpstring: [grocery store] MOM: omg where's my kid??! KIDNAPPER: [retired] cereal aisle MOM: oh thank heavens
@MomOfTeen: Twitter has ruined me. Just wrote "we'll deliver your load on time" for a transportation client and broke into peals of laughter.
@Fred_Delicious: Simba - "welcome to... The bone zone" Nala - "the what?" Simba - "elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard"