@imagine_vegas: Still haven't cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different
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@thentherewasmo: I'm not saying your cat doesn't care about you, I'm saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well
@zarascottio: Don't judge me for my race, don't judge me for my gender. Judge me because I've read all four of the Twilight books.
@TheRealJackDee: Does anyone have the number of a painter/decorator? I really need to get all my windows jammed so they never open again.
@Iam_Nathaniel: Girlfriend catches boyfriend cheating Boyfriend: WOOOW!!! So you gon believe your eyes over me?