@palokin: Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it
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@DrDogMD: NURSE: The other nurses and I bought you this box of chocolates for Valentines Day! DR DOG: You're joking, right?
@2p2TrollCat: Arrived home super drunk. Put the turkey in the oven and went up and banged my wife. Woke up next to the turkey. Afraid to check the oven.
@OneLastStranger: Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out..you have issues bro
@Eightinchgoat: Her: I LOVE your beard! Me: Thanks, yours is coming in nicely, too! Flirting with women my age is hard, guys.