@palokin: Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it
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@RyanofAvalon: Friend: "Hey, want me to get out my didgeridoo so I can play for you?" I'd rather you didgerididn't.
@TheCatWhisprer: A haunted house for introverts that is just random people popping out and asking questions.
@weinerdog4life: Babies are just like turtles, keep them in water and also feed them turtle food.
@kelkulus: Woke up with no money. I was robbed last night by a guy who looks exactly like me, but drunker.