@dreamthievin: Still waiting for the day I can illegally download groceries
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@Black__Elvis: Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you're so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?
@ShawtySouth: <--Goes to gym 3 times a week... Cannot separate two shopping carts stuck together at grocery store.
@shadygrenade: Obama: Get Air Force One ready. Biden: OK! *runs off* Obama: The plane, not the movie. *Biden does 360* Biden: Yeah I know.
@ThisOneSayz: Me to Hitman: in the bedroom. He is big. Hitman*pulls gun & enters* where is he? Me: on the wall! Hitman: that's a spider Me: kill it!