@gorrdano: Stop being racist to kettles.
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@ThisOneSayz: Marriage is like Disneyland. Magical at first but then you realize that there's someone else in the Mickey suit.
@KalvinMacleod: [driving test] INSTRUCTOR: Any initial concerns? ME: Volcanoes I: About the test? M: No I: Ok then let's go M: *drives into active volcano*
@Reverend_Scott: And on the 8th day, God created atheists and said, "Oh man, you're not gonna believe this."
@TheAlexNevil: Once bitten, twice shy. Except if you were bitten by a shark. Then you might be dead, and shyness won't be an issue.