@wickedsuga: Stop being so hard on yourself. You don't have to be a complete idiot. Just be the best idiot you can be.
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@shkeeber: Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!
@carlyken: 9: Mom! Where's my Spiderman costume? I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why?" 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!