@SassyChantelle: Stop correcting my vodkabulary
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dukelongboard: When I was 13 my dad gave me a bunch of socks n said "I heard u grunting in ur room last night, do it into these" So now I poop into socks
@goldengateblond: You know when someone's all "ugh this smells terrible" and they want you to smell it too? That's what sharing political news is like lately.
@iwearaonesie: [last night] *gets drunk* *can't remember if I fed the dog* *ends up feeding her 5 times* [tonight] *comes home* dog *hands me a beer*