@StevieKnip: Stop, Drop, and Roll: A Beginners Guide to Bowling
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@squirrel74wkgn: [drive-thru at 2am] Whaazzuupp!? Lemme gets 12 tacos, 6 burritos, and a Diet Coke. Booyah! Neighbor's mailbox: ...
@AndyAsAdjective: *accidentally grabs a fork from the silverware drawer instead of a spoon but I'm too lazy to go back so it takes me 47 min. to eat my soup*
@AndyAsAdjective: ME: I love you HER: ME: I said I love you HER: sir, I can't give you extra curly fries…please just pay for your order