@StevieKnip: Stop, Drop, and Roll: A Beginners Guide to Bowling
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@TheToddWilliams: THEO VAN GOGH: I can’t believe you lost your other ear in a poker game VINCENT VAN GOGH: What?
@FilmsWeWant: The same plot as the Matrix, only the Matrix runs Windows. The system crashes on its own. The human race is saved by shitty programming.
@oscarewilde: doctor: do you have any questions? me: would a lucky talisman made of eggs be called an omulette? doctor: i meant about your antidepressants
@PowKapowBoom: My cat is stuck in a Cheeto bag and I'm really pissed that I didn't think of that first.