@Underchilde: Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe.
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@AndyAsAdjective: "Daddy, did you know Pluto was recently reclassified as a dwarf planet, or plutoid?" "Sweetie, I'm pretty sure he's a dog."
@paulhorne: I was just adoringly watching my dog sleep and he woke up and caught me and now he thinks I'm some stalker weirdo.
@novicefather: I enjoy jogging in the mountains because nature is beautiful and cardiac arrest excites me.
@ThaJawn: Coworker *parks Prius Coworker 2 *locks bike up Me *bounces by on jumping exercise ball made of recycled tires* POSERS!