@Underchilde: Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Reverend_Scott: And then God said, "Let there be Black Friday." and he saw that it was a terrible idea but it was too late cuz people were already in line.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Damn dog is under the covers again! Wife: No she's not. She's next to the bed. Me: Oh. Wife: ... Me: Might be time to shave your legs.
@roadkill3x: I thought I saw a coyote in the yard tonight but I couldn't tell because it didnt have an anvil.
@badAzz_mom: If you ever want your kids to communicate with you, just make sure you're talking to someone else on the phone.