@DeeDeeSpeaks: STOP EDITING YOUR PICS, what if you go missing? How tf can we find you if you look like Beyonce on Instagram but Waka Flocka in real life?
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@UncleDuke1969: Kids today have it easy! In the old days, before smartphones & Instagram, by the time we finished the painting, our food was already cold.
@juliussharpe: That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
@TheSharona06: [Divorce court] Her: I found his Twitter account. I want a divorce. Judge: He was cheating? Her: No, he was doing inspirational tweets.